The Emotional Side of Money
Pink Floyd got it wrong when they lyricized that "money is the root of all evil," but they weren't far off the mark. Financial issues are cited as the number one cause of divorce, and having helped more couples work through financial issues than I can count, I've seen how money can be a destructive force in our lives.
I think that's why Jesus talked more about money than almost any other topic. He knew it it would be a stumbling block for us. Thankfully, Jesus built His church to disciple His followers, and part of that discipleship process should include training them to manage His resources well.
The problem with most churches today is that, unlike Jesus, they avoid the money issue. Or, when they do address it, it's only to talk about giving. Every church should have financial stewardship included as part of its discipleship process. It's not about raising money for the church. It's about growing God's people to maturity so that they can steward God's funds as He directs. If we do that, it will mean a more spiritually vibrant church full of people who are better equipped to support the work of God's Kingdom financially.
Traditionally, churches that focus on stewardship ministry deal mostly with two components related to money and possessions. They have programs to teach how to create a budget, pay off debt, and plan for the future. These address the practical side of money. Some also include teaching the Biblical principles of money management, thereby addressing the spiritual side. Although both of these are important, in my experience, there is a third, equally important component linked with money, the emotional side of money.
We all deal with money daily, so it's only natural that we will occasionally run into money stresses. For those who are good at managing money, this may not happen too often. But, for the majority of people who have not learned how to manage money well, these stresses are prevalent. And when we are stressed, the emotions under the surface tend to become more visible. Money is a revealer of what's inside us.
We learned a lot from our parents, even when they didn't mean to teach us. Some things are intentionally "taught," but the emotional aspects of money are usually "caught."
So, what did we learn from our parents about money?
Some have learned that money can be used to buy attention. Others discovered that possessions are how you measure yourself in society. Some observed that taking care of money is a hassle, so it's easier to avoid it when possible. And still, others may even have seen that saving money doesn't work because it will inevitably be lost anyway. What we learn as children or young adults can create emotional barriers to healthily managing money.
Monica is a successful attorney who makes approximately $350,000 per year. She is single, about 40, and seems to have it all together. But, she recently complained to her friend that she is unable to save any money, even though she knows that she really should.
To an observer, this sounds ridiculous. We might think: "She makes that kind of money and can't save?! That doesn't make any sense!" And on a logical level, we would be right. But this is where the emotional side of money comes in. What you can't see about Monica is her history.
Monica grew up in a very large and very poor family, and her parents worked hard to keep everyone fed. When Monica was very young, she worked part-time jobs so she could buy herself some of the nice things that she saw her friends had. However, because of her family situation, it never worked out that way. Whenever she brought home the money she had earned, her father took it and used it to help the whole family. Because of those experiences, Monica learned that when you have money, you have to spend it right away, or it will disappear.
Now, when she notices that she has money in her account, it creates an emotional reaction in her that causes her to spend. It's not that she doesn't understand how a budget works, it’s that she hasn’t addressed her emotional issues around money, which are causing her to continue to struggle.
In the church, we are in a unique position to help people become better managers of their money. Most of the education offered to the public is taught from a secular perspective, and it comes with some bias by companies that are offering products or services. In the past, the church has backed away from the opportunity to disciple people in the area of money. There are still many churches that don't address this issue. However, there is an encouraging trend happening. Many of the leading influencer churches in America now have financial stewardship ministries.
If you are looking to start or increase the financial stewardship ministry in your church, the best place to start is the Stewardship Impact Workshop found on this site, and by joining the CSN family. CSN is a network of church leaders committed to the financial discipleship of their church members. We would love to have you join our network.
If you're a pastor or spiritual leader, consider joining our CSN community. We are a group of passionate Christ-followers with a burden to teach and equip God's people with God's financial principles so they can live purpose-filled and generous lives. Sign up for our mailing list to get new content from CSN directly to your inbox!
Written by: CHris goulard
Chris is the Pastor of Strategic Advancement at Saddleback Church in Orange County California. His focus is to disciple those who have the spiritual gift of giving, and oversee the Estate Planning and Kingdom Builders ministries. Chris also serves as the Chairman of the Christian Stewardship Network, through which he helps other churches start and build healthy stewardship ministries. He is married to his wife, Jenifer for 29 years and they have two sons, 22 and 19.